I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
