I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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