at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
