We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I want to be your penis for a week.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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