I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
