My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You made out with two different species that night
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I can't put those talents on a resume
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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