sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
