hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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