Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
