when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
