The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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