Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
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