we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
