i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
