if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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