He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize