We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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