There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
