We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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