It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
