Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
