I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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