Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
