hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
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