I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
My bed smells like the plague
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
