she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
how drunk are you?
Several
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
