I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
