It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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