I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
