paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
