Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
