you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize