i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
