So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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