1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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