Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
is wine microwaveable?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
