There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize