Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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