i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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