she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
