The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
