i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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