I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I would fuck him just for his dog
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
