I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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