I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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