its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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