Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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