She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
