A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize