i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize