nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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