someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
