no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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