ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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