How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
