My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
