Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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