Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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