**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
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