so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
