So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
