I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I need moral support for this bender
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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