YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
