I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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